How I Can Help You
Personal coaching to help us develop the way we think and act is no different from having personal training to improve our physical fitness. Both involve working with someone who can help you identify what you want to achieve and support you in getting there.
I am a qualified mindfulness teacher, coach and cognitive-behavioural hypnotherapist with a background in Psychology, Business and Education. Your confidentiality is respected at all times.
Here are some of the things I can help you with:
Building your confidence and self-esteem
Overcoming your fears and phobias, like going to the dentist or encountering spiders
Improving relationships with your friends and family
Valuing yourself when being judged by others
Dating with confidence
Coping with social media
Dealing with online versus real life interactions
Working with LGBT people with confidence and social anxiety issues.
Moving up a year or changing schools with confidence
Dealing with the pressure of exams, tests or presentations
Building new relationships with your peers and teachers.
Building self-confidence and self-esteem
Joining new clubs or teams
Increasing your running distance
Improving your PBs
Overcoming mental struggles mid-way through a race or match
Setting and achieving new goals!
Public speaking and delivering presentations
Setting a plan to develop your career
Achieving more in your current job
Improving your work-life balance.
Increasing focus and productivity at work
Getting the most out of your life
Establishing what’s important to you
Setting yourself short and long-term life goals
Overcoming chronic pain conditions such as arthritis or IBS
Tackling insomnia to get a better night’s sleep
Turning resignation into hope
Dating and Relationships
Navigating online dating
Moving from ‘online’ to real life
Self-esteem and Social confidence for dating
Authenticity vs Compromise in relationships
I offer Coaching, Mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy (CBH), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and combinations of all four. I focus on techniques that are proven to deliver real success when used.
The driving force behind all that I do is empowering you to achieve the things you want, make the changes you need and live your life in the way you most want to. It is not about relying on me as a coach or therapist, but about helping you learn the tools and techniques to become the person you want to be.
As a member of the British Psychological Society and the Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council, my approach is heavily informed by and grounded in Psychology, Neuroscience and ongoing research. The techniques I use are recognised as both safe and highly effective by the British Medical Society, American Medical Society and National Institute of Clinical Excellence. If you visit my Winchester office you’ll also see I’m a bit of a geek, as shown by my love of books. You’ll probably spot key Clinical Hypnosis texts such ’Hartland’s Medical and Dental Hypnosis’ through to books by business leaders such as Matthew Syed with ‘Black Box Thinking’.
I use techniques that are constantly evolving, and make a conscious effort to ensure I’m up to date with the latest developments and best-practices. My techniques are the same as those used by many medical professionals including Dentists, GPs, Nutritionists and Psychologists, as well as Sporting Professionals and Business Leaders. While I’ve built my practice around evidence-based approaches, I remain open-minded to other approaches.
Online and Face to Face Coaching
I offer both online sessions or face to face, with flexible times to suit you, including evenings and weekends. Online sessions enable you to have coaching or hypnotherapy in a familiar, comfortable environment without any time spent on travelling or trying to find a parking space! It also means I can work with you wherever you are based. For those who prefer the more traditional type of session in person, these can also be arranged and I work from a Health Centre in Bishops Waltham, Hampshire as well as from central Winchester.
Tailored To You
Everything I do is tailored to you: Everybody I work with has different ways of working and wants different outcomes. Once we have spoken and you have shared with me the outcomes you are looking for, I will create a specific programme of sessions for you.
Coaching, Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness have been proven to help people from a variety of backgrounds, including corporate clients, professionals, business owners, students, athletes, teachers and retirees. I specialise in helping people to reduce and manage stress and anxiety, improve their performance, deal with fears and phobias and manage chronic pain. However I have worked with people on a much wider range of goals and can tailor the sessions to suit your outcome.
I work with a network of other health and wellbeing professionals so I am also able to point you in the right direction if you are interested in other aspects that I don’t specialise in.
For more information, just send me a message and we can discuss your requirements.
My name’s Tom. And I’m absolutely fascinated by how people’s minds work. Always have been.
That fascination led me to study Psychology, first at College and then University, with my Degree focusing on aspects such as Emotional Intelligence, Relationships, Anxiety, and Child Psychology. My time at school and University was punctuated – like it is for so many others – by bouts of anxiety and stress. I was terrified of public speaking, so much so that I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication before a presentation just to keep my nerves in check!
My career path after University was unconventional to say the least. But it was based on an overwhelming desire to help people improve their lives.
First I set up a dating agency, to help people find love. It was a real eye-opener. People put so much pressure on themselves to form relationships, while the anxiety some felt before going on a date was, at times, over-powering. Plus, as a gay man myself, I was aware of the issues around confidence and social anxiety that face certain groups (such as the LGBT community), and I was determined to help anyone who, like me at the time, encounters anxiety or confidence issues when building relationships and dealing with social situations.
I loved the idea of helping people, but the reality was that running my own business was more about the commercial details than compassionate ones, so I looked for a change. Around that time I spent a few days in a school. I immediately loved the atmosphere and the idea of working with and helping children so I took a teacher training course, and got a job in a school.
As a child I’d been incredibly shy, suffering regular bouts of social anxiety. So I could really empathise with the children I was talking to, helping them with their anxieties ahead of tests, or dealing with their social problems. Quickly I progressed through the ranks and became Assistant Headteacher at a school in Hampshire, where a big part of my role was coaching teachers. Mindfulness was introduced as a way of helping children become more resilient and relaxed (along with proven benefits of helping teachers deal with the pressures of the job), and I was hooked. This was what I wanted to be doing; teaching people ways of overcoming stress and anxiety and, in doing so, reaching their full potential.
So in the summer of 2017, I decided to leave the school and set up Train Your Mind. I immersed myself in training, building on my Psychology degree by earning a Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy from an industry-leading training college, the UK College of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy, and a certificate in Mindfulness Teaching from the UK College of Mindfulness and Meditation before the end of the year.
As a fully-qualified Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist, Mindfulness Teacher and Coach, I now combine first-class training and qualifications with first-hand experience of many of the issues you may well be going through. I am always studying and developing my knowledge, so that my techniques are up-to-date and proven to be best practice. I’ll never stop learning, and I’ll never stop wanting to help people like you. Want to know any more? Just contact me for a chat!
If you have not had any prior experience in coaching or therapy before now I understand that it can be a slightly daunting step to take. Because of this I always offer a free 30 minute phone or Skype consultation to find out more about you and what you need, explain what I do and answer any questions you may have. It also gives you an opportunity to find out if I'm the right person for you. And rest assured that I treat everyone with confidentiality.
Use the Contact form below to arrange your free session.
INVEST in yourself
In the same way that achieving a better body and level of fitness involves an investment of time and money in a personal trainer, high-quality personal development requires the same.
I encourage my clients to decide on the value of investing in themselves and the cost of remaining as they are. What will happen if nothing changes? What can happen if you change the things you are unhappy about?
Your needs and situation are unique which is why I create a package that is tailored to you. We look together at exactly what you are aiming to achieve and create a plan of how to get you to that point. From the initial session to the last, and the support given in between our times together, everything is done to help enable you to reach your goals.
I offer a free 30 minute online or phone initial consultation to anyone considering using my services. This gives you an opportunity to explain a little more about what you are looking for, ask any questions you may have and find out if I am the right person to help you. It also enables me to check that my services meet your needs as I only work with people that I believe I can help*. If you are interested in booking a free consultation session, just send me a message and we can arrange a call.
If you work in education please contact me about possible discounts.
*I have a network of other professionals, so if for any reason I feel I am not the right person to provide what you are looking for I can often recommend someone who does specialise in that area.
Click on 'Contact' to arrange a free, no-obligation call:
Send a message to request a free consultation or find out more
Does hypnotherapy actually work?
The short answer is yes, and there is a great deal of evidence to support this. However it also depends on how it is used and I can fully understand any scepticism some people may have, because I used to have it myself. Sadly, while there are many excellent practitioners, there is also a lot of very poor practice in this field and it therefore has a varied reputation.
My training is in evidence-based Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy (an integrated model of CBT and hypnotherapy) which focuses on those aspects of hypnotherapy which have been shown through scientific studies to work. Studying a course which focused on the scientific and psychological studies and removed those elements not supported by evidence, means you can be very confident that what I provide actually works. The Diploma in CBH I have is approved by the British Psychological Society and accredited by all of the major Hypnotherapy Organisations.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is a term that has become increasingly popular over the past few years, however the concepts themselves have been around for a lot longer. It has been shown to have significant and wide-ranging benefits, especially on stress and anxiety, and the evidence base and understanding of its many benefits continues to grow.
Mindfulness is a very simple idea; it is based on being fully present and aware of your emotions, physical sensations and everything that is going on around you. The complexity comes in understanding how to truly do this and how to successfully integrate it into your daily life.
I have helped to embed Mindfulness into education settings, worked with individuals on establishing their own mindfulness routines and also have my own daily mindfulness practice. I have been taught by a personal mindfulness coach as well as through a large amount of study, research and mindfulness teacher training with the UK College of Mindfulness Meditation.
What is Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy?
Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy is an integration of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and evidence-based clinical Hypnotherapy. Both CBT and Hypnotherapy have been shown to be effective treatments and the combination of the two has been shown to have a higher success rate and longer lasting results than either have by themselves.
I work with my clients on helping them understand and take ownership of their own thoughts and behaviours and using hypnotherapy to help reinforce the changes they want to see.
The Diploma in CBH I have is approved by the British Psychological Society and accredited by all of the major Hypnotherapy Organisations.
How many sessions will I need?
This depends on what you want to achieve. If you want a brief introduction to mindfulness you could do that in one session. If you wanted a more in-depth understanding and knowledge of how to apply it into your own life you could have regular mindfulness coaching or do a 4, 6 or 8-week course.
Unlike other therapies and techniques, the aim of hypnotherapy is to bring about noticeable improvements in only a few sessions.
Some clients have asked to spend a few sessions learning relaxation techniques, managing and reducing their stress and anxiety, or on confidence building. With most people I work with them to create a bespoke package of sessions which enable them to achieve their goal. As with the service itself, the time it takes is based on your requirements.
Do you specialise in any particular areas?
While I work with people from all walks of life, I particularly specialise in several areas:
Support and advice for those working in Education
Having spent many years in the classroom and also in senior leadership, I have a very clear understanding of the particular worries, anxieties and stresses that can be part of being a teacher. I've worked with students, NQTs, RQTs and experienced teachers and have found that some worries apply to all of us, and others are quite specific depending on the stage you're at in your role.
I belong to several teaching groups and give advice and suggestions whenever I can. I also try to offer discounts to teachers as I believe it's such an important job and want to see those who love the profession not only stay in it but be happy there.
I have been working with teachers on things such as: anxiety around being observed; dealing with workload; Sunday night worries about the week ahead; switching off from work and generally being able to maintain their wellbeing.
Get in touch for a chat to see if I can help you too. Just click here.
For fast to slow, expert to beginner, or anywhere in-between!
I work with all types of runners, from those who are just starting out on their first ever runs or doing a programme like ‘Couch to 5k’, to those who have run professionally and are looking to improve or change what they do. I’ve worked with people who have incredible PB’s, achievements and goals, but still want to work on an aspect of their confidence or mental performance. And I’ve worked with people who just want to increase their confidence and motivation to get out for a run or a jog now and again.
Visit my ‘Reviews‘ page to see some of the testimonials from my running clients!
Running is a passion of mine. I’ll happily admit to being someone who runs for fun, and I’m far from being one of the fastest! In fact most people who meet me wouldn’t guess I was a runner. But that’s the thing, running can be for everyone and I like to think I help illustrate that point! And whatever your speed or the amount of running you do, there can be some quite specific areas of worry and anxiety that can be a part of it and get in the way of your performance and enjoyment. Of course even if you’re one of those ‘fast ones’, don’t worry – I’ve worked with many people who have incredible PB’s, achievements and goals, but still want to work on an aspect of their confidence or mental performance.
If you’re looking to get some help with pre-race nerves, get in touch for a chat.
Or if you get too nervous to even enter races, wondering if you might be one of the slowest people there, but you’d love to try.
Or maybe it’s that you start lacking confidence halfway through a race and your focus and motivation starts to go.
If you find yourself running well but then you lose confidence at the end of a race, I’ve helped people with this so that they can finish strongly.
Find crowds or others cheering you on actually a bit off-putting? You’re definitely not alone! I’ve now seen several people to help them with this particular issue.
Perhaps you want to join a club but worry about what others might think of you and whether you’ll fit in?
Maybe you want to be able to increase your race distance but keep talking yourself out of it.
Had a bad experience and want to get over it?
Get bored on runs and your speed drops?
Trying to learn to run without music because your favourite race has now banned earphones?
Need motivation to get out and run when it’s cold, wet and dark and the TV and sofa look so much more appealing? Or when a summer evening means a drink outside beats the idea of a training run!
Whatever the case, I’ve probably felt like that, or similar (and if I haven’t, I’ve worked with or know someone who has) so get in touch to see if I can help you out too.
My background is Psychology and coaching and I’m qualified in Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy, Mindfulness and other mental strategies which are incredibly beneficial to runners. I use all of these to help runners to enjoy and achieve more.
While I work with all types of runners, (fast, slow, expert, beginner, or anywhere in-between!) many of my clients are those who are either new to running or describe themselves as someone who runs for fun, who wants to get fitter or lose weight, enjoys the social aspects and often someone who loves collecting the medals!
I work both online and in-person, depending on where you’re based and what works best for you.
“But what if I’m a better runner than you?”
Some people have asked if I only work with runners like myself. And the answer is no. Even if you’re one of those ‘faster ones’, don’t worry – in the same way that I work with people who have, for example, insomnia or a fear of flying without having either myself, I’ve worked with many people who have achieved far more than I have and been able to make a significant difference to them. You are the expert in what you do. I provide the mental techniques and strategies to take you even further. And when you combine those two things, the impact can be extraordinary.
Qualifications, Training and professional registrations
Tom Cleary, Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist and Mindfulness Coach.
BSc. (Hons) Psychology, MBPsS, Diploma Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy, Cert. Evidence-Based Hypnosis, Cert. Behavioural Hypnotherapy, Cert. Cognitive Hypnotherapy, Cert. Mindfulness Teaching, Post Graduate Certificate in Education, General Qualification in Hypnotherapy Practice, GHR Reg., CNHC Reg.
BSc. (Hons) Psychology, with a focus on Emotional Intelligence, Relationships, Abnormal Psychology, Child Psychology.
Post Graduate Certificate in Education, with a focus on teaching and learning with children.
Diploma and Certificates in Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy, from the UK College of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy in London. The leading UK training centre for evidence-based hypnotherapy integrated with CBT (Hypno-CBT®) and accredited by the British Psychological Society.
Accredited by NCFE, BPS, GHR, NCH and REBHP
General Qualification in Hypnotherapy Practice, from the General Hypnotherapy Standards Council and General Hypnotherapy Register
Certificate in Mindfulness Teaching, incorporating 'Mindfulness Now', from the UK College of Mindfulness Meditation and College of Central England, accredited by the British Psychological Society
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), CPD, (2017) with the London Hypnotherapy Academy.
Evidence-Based Approaches to PTSD: Trauma-Focused CBT, CPD (2017) with Daniel Mirea and the UK College of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy
Smoking Cessation Masterclass, CPD (2018) with Mark Davis and the UK College of Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy
Theory and Practice of Hypnosis in Enhancing Sports Performance (2018) with Adam Eason, Dr Jamie Barker and Gary Turner at the Royal Society of Medicine
Member of the British Psychological Society (MBPsS)
Member of the General Hypnotherapy Register (GHR Reg.)
Member of the Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC Reg.)
Testimonials and case studies
I heard about the effectiveness of hypnotherapy from a family member and decided to book a session with Tom. I needed to feel capable to face a new career after changing professional area. Cognitive and behavioural hypnotherapy worked well for me. I left the session feeling self-confident with great sense of self-efficacy, I felt stronger in my capacities and ready to deal with all sorts of professional challenges. Tom is a great therapist, I really felt I was listened to and understood in my difficulties. Tom, thanks for your sense of humour and overall for the guiding and preparing me in my new professional life.
Ellie M, London
Tom was fantastic with our 9 year old daughter: he put her at her ease and his experience as a teacher meant that he could explain and use visual aids which she would identify with. He went above and beyond our expectations to give her methods to work on, and recordings which she could take away and use. Her sleep has improved and she is sleepwalking less and less. She enjoyed the sessions and the effects were quick.
Sally W, Hampshire
Just to say a very big thank you again for the talk that you gave today.
It certainly hit the right note as it was all that people were talking about in the pub afterwards!
After a talk to a law firm on ‘Mindfulness and Coping with Stress in the Workplace’
From someone with a very 'busy mind' who has been working on being able to enjoy her runs with a calm, peaceful mind as a break from the rest of the day. Having tried Sports Psychology, Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness before and finding that some things didn't work for her, we worked together on trying new techniques. This is her feedback:
"I've just run 16.5 miles with no music and mostly on my own. For the first time ever I ran for 3hrs 3o minutes and my mind was calm!!! Thanks Tom, the techniques are really starting to work :-)"
"I started running as I wanted something to help my mind switch off and as a way to get fit. However I really struggled to clear my mind (I have ADHD). Work introduced me to 'mindfulness' and I hated it, what they taught me didn't work for me. I went to Tom wanting to be able to run with a clear mind. In just two sessions Tom taught me ways to focus and use imagery. I practiced 3-4 times a day and last weekend I ran 16.5 miles (a loop event) and 10 'laps' of the same path on my own with no music. What's more I was able to clear my mind! Tom's techniques enabled me to clear my mind, focus on my run and enjoy it! This would have been impossible for me before, I would never have completed 10 laps as I'd be very bored and frustrated! Thank you Tom!"
Jo D, Hampshire
Thank you so much for your time yesterday, I came away feeling both excited and empowered!
New PB this morning at the Winchester 10k! You were in my head the whole way and helped me so much! I didn't stop at all at the end and had a strong finish! Thank you so much.
Amazing mindfulness meeting! Thanks Tom, already feel like a huge weight has been lifted!
Emma S, Southampton
After coming to see me about social anxiety and relationship worries, we worked together using both Hypnotherapy and Mindfulness techniques to resolve these issues:
"I feel a lot happier and more confident that this is really going to help me, I’ve already used one of the techniques today, it really did help!"
"I’ve found these sessions really helpful and think it has definitely helped me feel more comfortable in situations I would normally find hard. I want to thank you for everything."
Miss H, New Forest
Thanks so much for today, brilliant session. I can really feel the benefits and look forward to testing them out!
A friend recommended I see Tom because of insomnia and worrying about various issues. From the first session he took the time to actually find out what I was looking for but also challenged some of my thoughts and made me realise the reason behind things wasn't quite what I had assumed. The night after my first session I slept better than I have in ages and I now have a recording he made for me that helps me sleep better. Highly recommended.
Matt C, Winchester
I have done both mindfulness and hypnotherapy sessions with Tom to help me with stress and social anxiety. He was very friendly and professional and I felt like he adapted things to suit me. He listened to what I was saying and really helped me work on what I needed which has helped me a lot!
Tom Cleary was my mentor/tutor whilst I completed training in conjunction with Winchester University. The course was rather challenging and throughout the experience Tom was there to guide and support me.
When I felt overwhelmed or unsure Tom was always available to listen to my concerns or anxieties, no matter how trivial they may have seemed. He always knew the latest research and methodologies and managed to convey these in a way that was accessible and clear.
There were times during the course that I lacked self belief and Tom would always point out the positives in my achievements whilst gently steering me in the right direction.
I left my course with outstanding marks and I believe that Tom’s support enabled me to achieve this.
I would have no hesitation in recommending Tom to anyone looking for fair, empathetic and knowledgeable support.
Mrs S, Winchester